Wednesday, April 16, 2008

"April is the cruelest month / breeding lilacs out of dead land"

Or daffodils, in this case. And I really hope my paraphrase of the beloved Eliot's lines isn't terribly far off.

You know, I'm feeling incredibly blessed about a whole lot of things. I have two of the most amazing, spirited, imaginative, fun, kind, stubborn, caring, inquisitive and intelligent kids I've ever encountered anywhere. Every single day I am surprised at my good fortune, being their Mama. I have a husband who is funny, hard-working, loving, successful, fun, and supportive. I'm even grateful for the year we have leading up to his deployment rather than bitter about the time we'll spend apart and the danger he'll be in. I love this area we've landed in; I love our house and neighborhood; I love the flowers sprouting their newly-green bodies up from bulbs some other soul planted when they lived here.

Sophia goes to sleep every night with her audiobook of The Secret Garden playing. She's watching the movie as I type. It's a story I have always loved, and its insistence on finding the good things, what is "wick" underneath what appears to be dead or dormant, seems to speak even more clearly to me now.

We just got back from a visit to West Virginia and Clint's mother, who is no longer struggling with her cancer, but meeting its eventuality and going on with the business of her life with a grace I hope I can one day muster. It is a sad thing, "it is a fearful thing to love what death can touch," but I am also reminded of the great abundance we carry inside for wonderful things; forgiveness, courage, tender kindness that spreads like the roots of growing things. I can see how my children show their loving souls and quite honestly feel nothing but humility in the face of it.

Clint also got to spend his birthday with his mother and his twin sister, all pictured above. Sophia and Benjamin are still a little puzzled about twins that don't look alike. Anyway, we had a good visit but we're glad the trip itself is over and we're home.

I took these amazing little souls to the small zoo downtown at Thompson Park today, as Sophia is off all week for spring break. They had a great time, and I've promised to take them back to the big park beside the zoo before the week is out. We're officially on the hunt for the Perfect Summer Shoes for them, too. I'd like to get them a pair of Keen performance sandals, since I have a pair I absolutely love and I know how well they wear, but I've yet to find them anywhere but online and I really want to fit them properly.

Clint is pulling all-night duty right now, but I'm having a glass of wine, both kids are showered, watching tv with their still damp hair and looking and smelling sweet in their pajamas, and soon we're going to snuggle up in my bed with a chapter book. And all I can think is how much I love my life.


Sarah said...

Oh, honey! I miss you so much that I really want to cry just reading this.

You guys are so beautiful. All of you.

I wish Clint's mother peace and serenity as she deals with what's to come.

Love you!!!!

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