A Great Yarn

Growing, growing

2011-11-16T09:26:00.005-05:00

They're always growing, these kids, even though I tell them all the time they better damn well stop it. Sophia is suddenly a lovely, ELEVEN year old lady. I don't even know how that happened.

(Ok, I know how it happened, but I live in denial.)

And this little guy is over 2 months old now. He's smiling, cooing, wiggling, and completely nosy.

It really makes my heart go all gooey and sappy, the way the older kids love the baby. I went into having a new baby with no expectations that they'd be thrilled with it, but they've really surprised me. Then again, he's not old enough to get into their things yet, so I guess I'll just enjoy it for now.

That newborn haze

2011-09-28T15:08:00.002-04:00

I think I forgot how all-consuming the newborn thing is. I mean, there's the complete lack of time to get anything non-baby done (because, say, a certain someone has decided that he wants to nurse a little here and there, but CONSTANTLY) but there's also that instinct to cuddle down with a little head under your chin, inhaling their smell of newness and something that is part you and part uniquely them. Time is such a stretchy thing with a newborn.

So we've got guests coming tomorrow and I'm thinking the house will not be clean and also that I'm not going to be much in the way of entertainment, but I guess that's how it goes and I'm really trying not to feel the least bit bad about that. Because I've got some really more important things to do. Like smell some baby hair.

Miles Thoreau is here.

2011-09-18T19:03:00.002-04:00

Born on September 7th at 8:40pm. He weighed 8 lbs 9 oz, and arrived after about an hour of really hard labor, so quickly the doctor didn't make it to the room in time and I think we panicked the nurse a little. (And when I broke down and asked for an epidural, there wasn't time for one!) Oh well.

He's perfect and healthy and we're smitten.

Friday Moment

2011-08-12T09:39:00.001-04:00

Getting there

2011-08-03T12:25:00.002-04:00

Almost 35 weeks now, so yesterday I decided it was probably time to wash some baby clothes. It seemed like I was going to be pregnant forever somehow, and now it seems like it's going so quickly. I guess that's Life, actually.

Now, to get this house in shape.

Tarred

2011-06-09T13:38:00.005-04:00

On Tuesday, we had people putting a new roof on the house. I had anticipated Roof Day with no small amount of dread, because our dogs are the kind of dogs who bark when anyone approaches the house. Not that they would ever do anything about any of those people approaching the house, but they like to maintain an appropriate amount of false swagger, I suppose. The recent addition of a very small dog and a few people in the house next door, and thus the backyard that borders our own and is only separated by a chain-link fence, still sends them into a fury of outraged hysterics, two months on. So I doubted a day filled with strange people on top of the house pounding away was going to be pleasant for them, or for me, who would be trapped with them. And I didn't have enough advanced warning to beg the veterinarian for some canine valium or anything.

But, to my surprise, they really didn't do badly at all. They barked at first, and they raced up and down the stairs for awhile trying to figure out why they could hear strange men's voices but not see strange men, but eventually they settled down for the most part. I was elated.

And then. Then in the early evening when the roofers had gone I let the dogs out in the backyard again. They ran, they sniffed, they frolicked. All cool. I saw Nox, our lab, twist in the grass on his back, looking like an ecstatically happy canine, glad (I assumed) to see his own patch of yard after a day of imposed exile.

When I let them back in I noticed him rubbing his head against the table legs, then running in to the living room and scraping his sides against the couch, which was odd. But, well, Nox IS odd, so I didn't think that much about it. Then Sophia went to pet him and shrieked, "Nox is covered in something sticky!!"

Indeed he was. We were baffled. I had the kids take him back out and try to hose him off. He went utterly apeshit about it, breaking away and nearly hanging himself in the screen door as he tried to get back in. And still he was sticky.

I went out to investigate and, turns out, the idiot found a spot of tar in the grass where the roofers had been and rolled in it. And he was really thorough. He has clumps of fur tarred together all down his back, on his cheeks, in the thick hair of his throat. It's awful.

The roofers came back the next morning to do the garage, and they gave me a small amount of some special cleaner they had, but I'm afraid to use it on him. I don't want to burn his skin or anything. I don't know... maybe I could spot clean the worst spots with a rag and then rinse really well with water? If he wasn't so damned big and impossible for me to manhandle, I would have already tried this, but I'm just not sure it's a good idea.

Anyway, I feel equal parts sympathy and exasperation for the lovable imbecile. I'd like to think he's learned some sort of lesson, but realistically I doubt it.

I like to think he at least looks slightly embarrassed, anyway.

Squeaks

2011-06-01T14:23:00.002-04:00

Last Thursday, soon after the kids had come home from school, I looked out our dining room window and saw a group (actually, appropriately, a murder) of crows swooping around and pecking some small animal. I yelled for Sophia to run out and shoo them away. Turns out, it was a baby squirrel they were attacking, and another was struggling in the flower bed a few feet away.

My children are not the type who would ever just let it end there. So I had them stay quietly on the little porch nearby so they could shoo the crows again if they came back, but be out of the way enough for the mama squirrel to come get her babies. We heard her calling... (did YOU know that squirrels could make a sound like a whining dog, or a loud bird? I didn't until that day.) And she did end up rescuing one of the babies. But the other, well he tried to climb a fence, fell, then headed toward the road. And when Sophia went to check on him, he started following her, another thing I didn't think a squirrel would do. I warned her to stay back and not touch him, and we truly tried to avoid him while keeping him out of the road, but he just wouldn't head back to where his mother was, and finally Sophia picked him up. I did a little online research and saw that the scent of human is not necessarily a problem for squirrel mothers, so we tried to put him down in the area she would come back to, but he didn't stay put there really, and she never came. So I had a dilemma.

I didn't really want to play squirrel rescuer, to be honest. But the kids were just SO worried about him and so in love with his small self already that I couldn't NOT. I called our vet, and they said they would take him but it would have to be the next morning because they were closing. So we cut holes in an old shoe box, put some towels in there, and "Squeaks" spent the night in Benjamin's room. He was so affectionate. It was odd to me. He survived another moment of peril when Nox got into the room and discovered him, too. That's one lucky squirrel.

So the next morning we drove to the vet and the kids handed over the little squirrel they'd fallen in love with. The nice lady who took him explained that they would look him over for injuries (his nose had been bloodied a little, either by a fall or the crows, but otherwise he seemed very healthy) and evaluate if he was ready to get along on his own or not. Then, when he was ready, he'd be released.

It is exactly what is best for a wild animal, and Squeaks is definitely a wild animal, no matter how much he seemed like a hamster. But that didn't make it easy for my soft-hearted children, who loved him, and they cried the whole ride home. In fact, they cried for a good solid hour. I told them how proud I was of them, both for taking such good care of Squeaks and for doing the right thing for him even when it was hard.

It's a tough lesson, though. Happily, almost a week later, they're feeling happier about the whole thing, and catching glimpses of Squeak's brother or sister running around out there, which makes us think Squeaks has an excellent chance at being very successful in the wild himself.

Nox

2011-04-14T13:58:00.002-04:00

I'll be honest: I wasn't totally sold on Nox when we brought him home. I wasn't thrilled with puppy-hood. He required a lot of time and attention that I wasn't excited to put forth and the kids weren't focused enough to provide on their own. (No matter how much they promised so they could have that adorable puppy sitting in the SPCA.) But aside from the normal, but by no means excessive, puppy things like having accidents and chewing on the couch cushions, he is such a good dog. Now that he's left the puppy stage, he's a joy. He was born to be a companion dog. He follows me almost everywhere, including the bathroom. At times it feels like having a furry toddler in the house.

And it's hard to have a bad day when he smiles up at me like this all the time.

2011-04-13T09:49:00.002-04:00

The movie theater that was in the mall here closed for remodeling in the fall (I think) and it still hasn't reopened yet. But, as with many things that seem at first to be nothing but an inconvenience, it has definitely been a blessing in disguise. We're a family that loves going to the movies. That's not going to change, although with the cost of tickets these days I'm sure we'll have to be more careful about it. But the truly wonderful thing about this time without the big complex nearby is that we found something even better.

In the town of Lowville, which is maybe a 30 minute drive for us, there's an old theater that was at one time an opera house, a USO club, and a silent movie house. They show one or two movies a weekend, and the ticket and food prices are much lower than most cinemas as well. Plus, it's just so damn charming and lovely. And who doesn't love to support such a great, local, family-owned business, anyway?

Right across the street is a diner called Jeb's, where the food is good and the milkshakes even better (say the hellmonkeys). So we will often pass a wonderful Friday evening with a dinner there and then walk across the street to see a film. And we might not have discovered this option if the theater by us hadn't closed. But it did close, and we did discover it, and although I'm sure we will see movies at the newer place when it reopens, you can be sure we will always pick the Town Hall Theater in Lowville first.

There is so much charm to be found in the little places of this area, and having moved around a good bit, I feel that is true for everywhere. You just have to be willing to look for it. Sometimes it takes a closing to move us out of our comfort zone in order to find it, but it is always so worth it when we do.

Can we have some spring, please?

2011-04-09T16:32:00.002-04:00

I call this his "don't talk to me until I've eaten my hotcakes" face, and I'm pretty sure that's exactly the look on my own before I've had a cup of coffee every morning. It's been a long end-of-winter. February and March are always kind of long up here. So ready for spring, so not going to get it. But today it's in the 50s and the sun is shining and for the first time I actually believe it's coming.

Old Long Since (Auld Lang Syne)

2011-01-01T18:58:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year!

These are my two favorite images I took in 2010. I actually had them made into canvases to give my parents for Christmas, and I'm going to order some for us soon as well.

2010 saw my husband come home safely from Afghanistan, and my children healthy and happy. Thanks, 2010. I have high hopes for 2011, but no matter what I know it will mostly be what I make it. Here's hoping you have a lot to work with this year, too.

Post-Holiday

2010-12-28T15:56:00.009-05:00

We had a good holiday, and I hope everyone else did, too. I cooked a big dinner and we STILL have ham left. Clint put a facebook status up yesterday that said, "Sophia is mowing down her books, Benjamin is mowing down his video games, and Brittany is mowing down a well-deserved nap," and I think that about covers the state of us post-holiday. I've always liked this week between Christmas and New Year. It feels so relaxed. I always had toys and then new books to read when I was younger, and no school, and now I'm an adult and my kids are on break from school, we're eating leftovers, watching new movies and reading new books, and napping. Amen to napping.

Friday - {This Moment}

2010-12-17T21:50:00.002-05:00

Clint's big present this year. SWOON.

Tis the Season

2010-12-14T07:53:00.003-05:00

A season for snow, hand knits, and lights from the tree making me happy. I think I'll be finishing up almost all the gift shopping today, and although I'm pretty happy with what we've done in that area this year, it still feels like too much somehow. Do others feels that way? Like the search for gifts to give, and particularly I'm thinking about shopping for our children here, can be painful to both the spirit and the wallet sometimes? I don't know. I want to get them something with joy. I like finding the right gift. I guess I wish we had started things differently when they were younger. Like, I think Santa should bring one present. Going over The Lists and trying to figure out what can be afforded, and equally, and so on just isn't what I want for the season, but somehow we just got into that pattern.

But it's not all bad. I say all that but our family is still on the smaller side of the gift-giving extravaganzas I've seen or heard about. By necessity, sure, but also by choice. I find I like the smaller things we do so much more. Going to get our tree, baking cookies, making cranberry tea on the stovetop, bringing out the familiar ornaments and holiday books, the cards and wrapping paper the kids draw and make... these things are the holiday season more than the gift-giving, and I hope my kids get that and carry that forward into their adult lives. I think they will.

Friday - {This Moment}

2010-12-10T09:46:00.003-05:00

You may not know this about me, but I have an entourage. Also, Mukluks, which is good because it's freezing here.

Making Merry

2010-12-06T13:51:00.006-05:00

We went and picked out our tree over the weekend. This is actually our first real Christmas tree. I've always wanted one, but we just never tried it until now, and my family always just went with the artificial kind so I had no prior experience. So far, I'm in love with it and can't imagine not having a real tree after this.

making my turkey brine

We had a lovely Thanksgiving here. It was just us, and it was a quiet, warm, and good-smelling day that I enjoyed thoroughly. I roasted my first turkey (my, this is a year of holiday firsts, isn't it?) and was beyond thrilled with how it turned out due to brining. Seriously the best turkey I've ever had, and I don't think that's because I am particularly skillful... it's the magic of brining!

Lots of sitting in front of the wood stove around here. We've had our first snow and all the white-laden tree branches just fill me with delight. I am a true Northerner at heart; I was never particularly happy when we lived down south. I love the snow, the winter, I love pulling on woolen things and the deep quiet of a snowfall at night. So far this is shaping up to be the best holiday season yet, and I couldn't be happier or more grateful for any of it.

Double Digits

2010-11-15T16:01:00.002-05:00

My eldest baby is now 10 years old. I don't know how that happened already, but there it is. And there she is, and she is magical and I am so astonished and grateful to be her mother.

Happy Veterans' Day

2010-11-10T23:21:00.002-05:00

in Afghanistan

We sure do love our soldier. And we thank everyone who has ever served, along with all the families who wait for them to come home.

To The Bone

2010-11-10T14:06:00.002-05:00

Life right now feels a lot like Nox with his bone. It's good. I am more content than I can ever remember being, my entire life. Oh, nothing is perfect. I'm not saying I'm totally satisfied with everything, either. For instance, my house needs a major overhaul. I'm talking going room to room with a trash bag and a donation box overhaul. I wish I was getting more writing done. More laundry, too, come to that. Clint will be leaving for Missouri in January for his Captain's Career Course while the kids I stay here, and I'm not looking forward to another 6 months without him. And he's in the Army, so there's a guaranteed supply of more of that to come.

But it's good, it's so good. Every evening we sit in our little living room around the fire going in the wood stove and my little holiday lights I love so much they stay around all year twinkle and the kids have their warm slippers on and play chess on the floor. I have a mug of something warm and a dog or two pressed to my side or against my feet and my husband in the chair beside me and it is all so good I want to chew my life down to the bone and then keep on going.

I just have a feeling like I have left discontent behind. Not that I won't ever be sad or frustrated or scared or anything, because I will be. More that somewhere along the years from high school to now, from old home to the new home we've made together, my mindset has shifted from the place that says, "And if I could just have/do/accomplish..." to one that says, "I have everything important to my happiness." Everything else is icing.

Or a good, juicy bone.

Staples

2010-11-08T10:28:00.002-05:00

(photo taken with my phone)

On Friday afternoon we ended up going to the ER and Benjamin ended up with three staples in his head. He was given three balloons by the kind doctor.

See, he was standing on a kitchen chair (yes, that's why you don't stand on kitchen chairs) and they were messing around, and he lost his balance and fell, clipping the edge of a cabinet as he did so.

He also got a splinter in his finger yesterday from carrying wood and has been trying to get a very loose and sore tooth to come out all weekend.

The kid is a mess. I think he needs extra snuggling time in front of the wood stove tonight. And tea, maybe. And a book.

I'm rather looking forward to it, too.

A Day

2010-11-03T12:47:00.003-04:00

I've been waiting for a guy to come and fix our thermostat today, so we can actually use our furnace. (The wood stove has been doing a good job of keeping us warm in the meantime.) He told us last night he'd stop by today, but he wasn't sure what time he'd able to... he thought it would be in the morning. Well, it wasn't. It's afternoon now and I'm still waiting. I'm not in the least bit angry at him. He was perfectly upfront with us, and he's done some work for me before and I've been very pleased with him. I just feel like I've wasted an entire day because of the way I am. I quickly threw some clothes on this morning without showering, got the kids off to school, and waited. I thought when he left I'd take a quick shower and run to the store for a few things, hopefully take the dogs for a hike. So here I am, unshowered, feeling awful, nothing done. And it's all my uptight fault.

The thing is, I often feel deeply disappointed with "my day." Most of the time I don't feel like my day has been very productive, and I feel frustrated and defensive about it all at once. As if a day was a complete and finite measurement of time and I dropped the ball. I don't know. On one hand I think I need to cut myself some slack and on the other I think I need to quit all my lazy habits.

But there's always tomorrow, I guess?

Halloween

2010-11-02T11:54:00.006-04:00

I hope everyone had a spooky, fun Halloween. It was really cold here. Like, it snowed a little the afternoon before trick or treating. But that's not unexpected up here, so no one was surprised.

Sophia went as Athena this year. She's really into Greek mythology right now. She's always really enjoyed it, but the Percy Jackson books really kicked her interest up to obsession. Which I love, being the type to obsess over my interests as well. Bonding!

Benjamin went as Death, partly because he just plain wanted to look spooky and partly because he loves the character of Death as created by the great Terry Pratchett, two of whose books we've watched the movie equivalents for (The Color of Magic and The Hogfather).

It's been a good Autumn here... we had a woodstove installed in our fireplace and have been enjoying that. We went apple picking and visited the cider mill. I love it!

Friday - {This Moment}

2010-09-24T08:13:00.003-04:00

I love how much she loves books, and bookstores. I love that we can share that. Her ever-widening mind is a joy and wonder to behold. Every day.

Hibernation

2010-09-22T16:41:00.003-04:00

I've been feeling a lot like this recently. The days are getting cooler and it's been drizzly and gray off-and-on outside, and I mostly feel like hanging out in my house. Looking toward winter and hibernation.

And speaking of hibernating, it will that much more cozy this winter, because we're having a wood stove insert put in our fireplace in a couple weeks. Exciting! We had three face cords of wood delivered last weekend, so we're ready for a few cold months, anyway.

Now I just need to focus on the other instinct I'm feeling strongly: cleaning, organizing, and arranging my house in a more efficient and inviting way.

I'm really a homebody at heart, and I like it that way.

The Tomten

2010-09-20T14:42:00.004-04:00

...is not just a very favorite, magical children's book character! It's also a very squee-worthy Elizabeth Zimmermann sweater pattern that I managed to complete over the weekend. YAY!

I made one for Benjamin first, because while Astrid Lindgren's book about the Tomten who lives on a farm and visits all the animals is pretty much adored by all of us, Benjamin has always been especially enamored with him. It was his go-to, most requested book for a very long time. Also, he's the smallest, and sometimes starting small is a good idea.

Incidentally, I really wanted to name any future additional daughter Astrid, but Clint vetoed the name. Can you believe him?!?!?!?!

Anyway.

Benjamin was really excited when I had him try it on. He says he really likes it, which is of course what any knitting mama wants to hear, and bless his little ninja boy heart for at least faking enthusiasm for my benefit. All I have to do is sew in the zipper now. I made several mistakes and it's not perfect or in the best yarn, but I'm still pretty ridiculously pleased with it. Especially today, when I've accomplished almost nothing but can look happily at it lying on the table and pretend I'm not a lazy, unmotivated slacker.

Onward!

Friday - {This Moment}

2010-09-17T09:13:00.003-04:00

Had my stylist cut bangs. Celebrated 11 years with that man of mine. Bought a new french press. It was a good week.

I Never Know What I Was Thinking, So Don't Ask Me

2010-08-26T19:35:00.004-04:00

For some reason, I totally thought this summer was going to be easy. I envisioned all this spare time that I'd have. Because my kids are older now, see? So in my brain, that somehow equaled more of me typing away on my laptop, or reading more than two chapters of a book every night, and even (gasp!) getting my house clean and organized.

I'll just pause now so you can get that laugh out of your system.

So, no, it wasn't a summer filled with all that free time I thought it would be. It wasn't a hard summer by any means, it was just full and busy and there wasn't a whole lot of time for solo, uninterrupted stuff.

And then last week, the kids went off with my parents in West Virginia, and what do Clint and I do? We rip up the carpet in our living room. (Because it is nasty and WHITE for godssake and will not get clean no matter what I do!) And so I spent many weekday hours pulling staples out of the wood floors with tiny pliers and thinking mildly violent thoughts about the individual who was obviously so very enamored with his staple gun when he was putting down the carpet pad.

On the other hand, I did no cooking that week.

Anyway, our summer is almost over. The kids start school after Labor Day, and I hope to pick up some part-time work myself. Clint is having shoulder surgery the end of September and will probably be lying on our couch for a good deal of October. I can feel Autumn hovering in the night air and it makes me so very, very happy.

Which reminds me to go work on that sweater I started for Benjamin.

Friday - {This Moment}

2010-08-13T12:09:00.003-04:00

This week, filling out paperwork at the dealership, the man asked, "Is it ok to put down homemaker for you?" Sure. I'm proud of that. But I still pulled out the journal that came a few weeks ago when I got home. I looked at my name on the page. Some day, hopefully, I'll tell someone to put down "writer" when they ask.

2010-08-11T07:49:00.002-04:00

Last night we were supposed to have black bean soup in bread bowls for dinner. Except after I sauteed the onions and bell peppers, chopped the chipotles, and assembled everything along with the dried beans in the slow-cooker, instead of turning the damn thing to HIGH I accidentally set it on WARM. You know, that setting that keeps your meal nice and toasty after it has cooked already. And then I went about my absentminded business and so, when Clint came home at 7pm from a long, frustrating day of work there was no dinner ready. BECAUSE THE DAMN BEANS WERE STILL AS HARD AS PEBBLES.

I am so epic.

Anyway, I was disgruntled and also sticky (hello, humidity!) and threw in the towel and we all got in the car and went to get a sandwich.

Clint has been having a lot of trouble with his shoulder, and will probably end up having surgery on it, but right now he's working through some physical therapy torture stuff and it was really bothering him last night. So he took one of the percoset they gave him before we left to go get our sandwiches. And apparently percoset really affects him, but we didn't know that. So by the time we got home, he was walking to the house with the dubious assistance of his arm across my shoulders, which delighted me and annoyed the shit out of him.

So I sent him to bed and brought him some water, and even though I failed at dinner and it seems like more often than not, it's that guy looking like a James Bond puppy-rescuer who is doing all the saving-the-day, there are some things I am best at.

Putting people in this house to bed is one of them.

2010-08-09T10:06:00.002-04:00

Sometimes they do this, this half-hug, half-wrestle, chewing on each other's leg or ear. The kids do, too, brother and sister, fighting yet loathe to be apart. In many ways, I look at this picture of our pets and it seems to be the perfect metaphor of family.

Friday - {This Moment}

2010-07-30T09:36:00.002-04:00

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Summer rainstorm. So we made tea, lit a candle, and pulled out a favorite board game. It made me long for Autumn.

This is Nox.

2010-07-27T16:09:00.003-04:00

And he was at our local SPCA. But now he's here with us.

I can't say enough good things about the SPCA. They do important work. We got Purdy, our border collie, from them a little more than a year ago now. She had been left locked in a bathroom with a few other dogs when the owners moved. We figured (with the help of our vet) that she was about 3 years old when we adopted her. And she is the best dog ever. No, seriously. Best. Dog. Ever. I can't imagine life without her. So we thought we wanted to add another dog to the mix, because she really enjoys other dogs and there are always great dogs that are waiting for home. I said no puppies, both because puppies are a lot of work and because I really pictured us bringing another grown dog home, one who needed another chance. But there was Nox, and it was love, and truly, he needed a home, too. And he's fitting in really well. It's nice to see Purdy wrestling with him, because she's never really been comfortable rough-housing with us. (We think her past owners were less than kind to her, so I'm sure that has something to do with it.) And he's a lot of work, but we're armed with some great training material, plus we'll be taking him to a puppy obedience class after his 3 month shots. And, well, he's lovely.

2010-07-15T09:22:00.004-04:00

My husband's leave is coming to an end; next week he'll be back to work. This is the longest stretch of time he's ever taken off, and yet it's felt so short. Part of me feels regretful... maybe we should have stayed put more, tried to do less, just hung out with less distraction.

Things march on, vacation time can't last forever. We have swimming lessons to get to and a porch to work on and books to read and meals to make and so on. But man, do I like having him home.

Friday - {This Moment}

2010-07-09T09:19:00.002-04:00

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

He picked the tobacco worm off the plant and studied it, fascinated. This boy, who runs from moths... but loves butterflies.

Back...

2010-07-07T08:09:00.002-04:00

We're back from our vacation to Williamsburg, VA and visiting family in West Virginia. It was a great trip but it's really good to be home. I'll have pictures from our time in Colonial Williamsburg and Jamestown, but here's a shot from the 4th. Sparklers are so fun, aren't they?

A late List Monday

2010-06-15T11:56:00.003-04:00

We had visitors and then yesterday our internet was out. It's still out, actually, and I suppose I'll have to call our provider if it's not back to rights by tomorrow. But today the sun is shining after what felt like a long stretch of gloomy days. Soon Clint will be on block leave. The kids have a week and a half left of school. And the flowers are blooming along the fence in our yard and everything is conspiring today to make me happy. Don't you love those days??

Things I Want To Be When I Grow Up*

1. Author

2. War Correspondent

3. College Literature Professor

4. UNICEF Ambassador

5. Pre-K teacher

6. Bookstore Owner

7. Midwife

8. Dog Rescuer

9. Portrait Photographer

10. Travel Show Host

* In random order and without regard to practicality.

The Glory of Coffee, and the Season of the Farmer's Market Begins

2010-06-09T11:40:00.006-04:00

Every morning must start this way. The deep, smoky smell of coffee beans scooped into the grinder, the loud whirl of the motor grinding them for brewing. Cold water and coffee grounds producing that dark cup of liquid. I need to sit, quietly, with my first cup of coffee in the morning. It's a time of savoring and gearing up for the day. The early mornings before I get the kids up to school are my favorite. In the fall or spring, when I pull on a sweater and enjoy my moments on the sun porch. In the winter, when I sit under a blanket on the couch and curl my fingers around the hot mug. Summer, seeking out a few minutes of relative cool.

I've cut down on my java drinking. Most days I only have one (not precisely small) cup when I rise. I used to drink at least half a pot every day, maybe more. But it's that first cup in the morning I could never, ever give up, nor do I ever wish to.

The weekly farmer's market is open again here in northern New York, and I am so very, very happy about that. I made it this morning before the rain and came back with three bags loaded with my goodies. It's been very cool and overcast here this week. I'm actually wearing a sweatshirt right now. I'm not complaining about that, though.

The kids are perfectly happy to eat all their fruit fresh with no additions, no sugar, nothing. But I did get all that rhubarb, so I think a cobbler is in store for us.

I'm calling this List Monday

2010-06-07T15:26:00.004-04:00

Because I really enjoy making lists. I usually do this with paper and one of my special, specific, don"t-you-dare-take-this-off-my-table-or-lose-it pens. But I saw this on another blog. Another list lover writing lists once a week, as a writing exercise. And I liked it. I liked it very, very much. So...

Very Small Things That Make Me Happy

1. dog greetings and dog smiles

2. red shoes

3. sparkling wine

4. baby cheeks

5. hellmonkey (aka, my offspring) chortling

6. striped socks

7. sharpening pencils

8. sun porches

9. my husband smiling at me

10. clean sheets, on my big iron bed

Friday- This Moment

2010-06-04T08:12:00.001-04:00

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

(tradition from SouleMama)

2010-06-02T20:06:00.002-04:00

Sometimes, usually after maybe our third month of intense snow during the winter, or when it snows in late April, I forget how really beautiful it is here in northern New York. Even the snow is beautiful, lying quietly on a brisk and hushed night, fat flakes falling from the darkness. And then spring comes, and then early summer, and we're driving along on our way to have a Saturday night Japanese dinner in Syracuse and Clint pulls over to the side of the road because we've just spotted an amazing cleft of rock and a waterfall. And I hop out of the car and take a picture of it. A few days later, I download it onto my laptop and open it full-sized on the screen, and I remember.

Yes. It's so beautiful here.

Promotion

2010-06-01T16:23:00.004-04:00

Today we attended my husband's promotion ceremony, and the kids pinned his captain's bars on him. They were so excited, and I was so glad we were able to attend this one. In so many ways, military kids serve just as much as their soldier parent(s), and they didn't even volunteer. My kids have birthdays that their dad can't be here for, and holidays and sport games and all the little life in between. They move when the Army tells us to, they switch schools and make new friends and hang new pictures on new bedroom walls. Don't get me wrong, there is a lot that is positive about our life as a military family, and all those hard things are usually a trade-off for another exciting thing, but they still have to do it, and it is not always easy. Kids are so resilient. But my two have handled so much, including this recent deployment, with so much grace and I am so proud of them.

I'm also proud of Clint, of course! Aside from all the success he has in his career, I'm just plain proud of how hard he works and how much he cares about his soldiers. He has always, always worked hard to take care of us, in the Army or out of it, and we couldn't ask for more.

2010-05-26T16:08:00.006-04:00

Feels like summer. The kids aren't done with school yet (they go most of June, actually,) but it's almost 90 degrees today here in northern New York. Laundry is on the line, sandals are on our feet, and the fan is blowing in the window. And maybe I'll update this space more often now. :)

Apple Picking

2009-09-29T15:28:00.004-04:00

Last weekend we went apple picking with friends at Behling Orchards, the same orchards we went to last year. Once again, the kids got carried away with the excitement of it all and we carried away an obscene amount of honeycrisp apples. Which, of course, happen to be the only expensive ones. They're worth it, though.

These apples are so big and rosy it was like picking sweet-tasting jewels. I get a lot of satisfaction from apples. They seem like such a common, almost boring fruit. They're such a staple. An apple a day. Oh, it's as American as apple pie. But there's something deep about an apple, too. Cut it right and find the star. We bite into their crisp flesh and the juices run out onto our hands. I think of Sunday school days, the priest telling us again how it's Eve's fault. How wrong to want, how wrong to long. We smile as we eat. We don't fall over like Snow White to sleep like death. We're the dwarves, we scurry away and we store these jewels for the winter. We don't have time for princesses. We're not afraid of snakes.

Quotable Sunday

2009-09-27T15:12:00.003-04:00

"Youth is like spring, an over praised season more remarkable for biting winds than genial breezes. Autumn is the mellower season, and what we lose in flowers we more than gain in fruits."

~Samuel Butler

I'm jumping on the bandwagon I've seen on some other blogs. I like the idea of quotes on Sundays.

2009-09-25T10:17:00.002-04:00

One of the soldiers in our battalion was recently killed from an IED blast. He had a 9 year old daughter. My own daughter told me yesterday that one of her classmate's father was injured in a blast in Iraq and had to relearn speech and movement. She said, "but even though his brain wasn't working right he still remembered his son." Yesterday her classmate left early to go to Niagara Falls with his family to celebrate his father being better.

Oh please don't let these little examples pass you by as we are bombarded by timetables and analysis and budget talks and all that other stuff. I think it's so easy for us to forget the details of the picture when we don't have a loved one caught up in these wars. It's natural. We have no concrete idea here how war looks up close. But there are children dying in these wars,too, and civilians. Please look, and please remember.

There is no such thing as a good war.

I'm not enough of a pacifist to believe that military action is never necessary. But it's never glorious or good.

There is no such thing as a good war.

And I hope that if we all remember this, despite all the yelling and the fear mongering and the flag waving, we'll all be more careful. We'll insist that our governments be more careful.

I think we could all stand to be more thoughtful and careful with each other.

2009-09-21T14:46:00.005-04:00

Over the weekend the kids I went to the Burrville Cider Mill, which is such a wonderful and fun old place. It's also about 5 minutes from our house. We checked out the process they use to make their cider, watched the beautiful water fall behind the place (that used to turn the water wheel) and left with some cider and also some hot cider doughnuts.

Apple mashing.

You can feel Autumn coming here. Actually, we've been feeling it for over a week now. I drug out the flannel sheets and put the down comforters on the beds during the suddenly chilly nights. I made a big pot of chili on Friday night, the first of the season. I made pumpkin bread. The leaves are turning.

Oh, and I have a new pot to make that chili in, and more besides! I finally broke down and bought one of the Le Creuset dutch ovens I've been wanting for awhile now.

There's the chili.

And here I made roasted lemon garlic chicken in it. I have to tell you I'm impressed with it so far, which I had better be for the price of the thing. But it's so versatile... the cast iron can be used on the stove top or in the oven. In fact, I browned the chicken on top of the stove before popping the while thing in the oven to roast.

Yes, it's love. And yes, I have become one of those bloggers who photographs meals.

10 Years

2009-09-11T13:40:00.003-04:00

I've been with that man for 10 years as of today. He's not here to celebrate with me, but I've been mindful all day long of how grateful I am to have taken a leap with him, to have him in my life. We were never supposed to be together. There was too much against us, too many reasons it wasn't a good idea. We both risked a lot when we decided it was worth it... he even more than I.

I never, never forget that.

The past 10 years have NOT been easy. That doesn't make our partnership any less precious. It is my firm belief that almost anything truly worth it is hard. And marriage is hard. Marriage that has often been conducted long distance? Even harder. But I knew this man was meant to be in my life. I felt our connection. I knew it was good and right. And that is why I chose him when everyone and everything else was against it.

He's still my best friend. He knows me better than anyone else in the world. He makes me laugh every day. I think we've both seen the absolute best and worst of each other. And we still choose each other.

I've ridden away in a car in the dead of night with this man. I have a box of love letters in my bedroom. But the real heart of it, the real magic is that we fight and we struggle and we are sometimes bored and we often forget to appreciate the other, but at the end of the day it's only him. And it's only me. And I would still jump in that car with him. We've got two kids in the back seat now. I'd still choose him, I'd still choose this life, over everyone and everything.

And that is the most wildly romantic thing I can think of.

The Thirst

2009-09-09T19:38:00.003-04:00

We found a neat globe on sale at Target last week. The kids have been twirling it around, placing their fingers over one place and then another. (I do the same thing.) We found Afghanistan, traced the route Clint traveled to get there. We found South Korea, where he was stationed for what felt like such a long time a few years ago. We found Germany, where our good friends are from and who brought us back things from their visit there this summer. We found Ireland, where Clint and I went together.

It's funny, the more the world seemed to shrink as we found places we had some connection to, the more it actually expanded. Because there are so many more places we know almost nothing about. Places we want to know about. Places we want to see and discover. Places we will never get to go. Places we hope to see as we follow that dream.

The thing about moving around a lot is that it shrinks your time to enjoy what you go to the trouble of finding, over and over again. Friends. Family. Special places. That great diner, that perfect ice cream stand. But actually? As you see more and more of the world, as you meet more and more people, make more and more family wherever you go? You are really expanding. Our hearts and our minds and our special people and places... they all open up as wide as a big sky, as big and as never-ending as a globe on the table in our little house.

It's the same when you open yourself up to learning. I realized this early on. The more I would read, the more I would realize how much was out there to read, and that I would never get to all of it in my lifetime. The more you learn, the more you realize how much you don't know. Sometimes I think this is the difference between a small mind and an open one. This humility coupled with thirst.

I'm grateful to have a partner with the same thirst. I know we'll manage to take our kids overseas, to see as much as we can, because we both value that. I'm grateful the military will provide us with that avenue. And I'm so glad to see my kids awakening to that great paradox, that sweet thirst. Right now we're touching the map of the world and we're writing letters to send far away. We trace the way it will travel, over an ocean, over countries with languages and histories we don't understand. But we want to. We want to understand. And as everything shrinks, it will all expand.

We're back!

2009-09-08T09:04:00.004-04:00

Today is the first day of school here. Benjamin is now a 1st grader and Sophia a 3rd grader! They've started at a new school this year (because of our move, they're in a new district) and I'm really happy and impressed with it. This morning went pretty well. I took them myself since it was the first day in a new school and they weren't sure about finding their classrooms. They both looked nervous and shy, and it's always hard to walk away from your kids when they look like that! But I know they'll come off the bus full of themselves and full of news.

We saw Clint off the end of July. We miss him so very much but we're doing well. He's doing well, too. I'll be writing much more in this space but right now I'm going to go get some things done without kids!

Renaissance Festival 2009

2009-07-07T13:40:00.008-04:00

We do enjoy a good Renaissance Festival in this family, and we decided to go last Sunday. As I'm laid up at the moment with a busted ankle (in my usual grace, I fell off the step by my back door while trying to shut the door quickly so the cat wouldn't run out) I think I'll just post some pictures instead of being long-winded. The pictures really speak for themselves, anyway.

Benjamin practices his bow/salute.

The kids catch an Italian rogue traitor.

Sophia gets a ride on a war horse.

Mmm, gigantic turkey leg.

Sophia enjoying the Painted Lady storytelling and, well, painting.

And, of course, the best part was having a great day together as a family, not to mention that we met up with dear, dear friends and enjoyed their company as well. All in all, I couldn't imagine a better way to spend a Sunday.

Happy 4th of July!

2009-07-04T11:37:00.002-04:00

Block leave is over and we're trying to make the most of our dwindling time together before Clint leaves, so this is just a quick hello. But I'll be back later! Have a great holiday!

Soon.

2009-05-29T16:52:00.003-04:00

Soon my husband will be deploying to Afghanistan, commanding his firefighter company. This picture is from the deployment ceremony today.

Soon the kids and I will have to miss our favorite guy for an entire year. Soon he will be in a country far away, shouldering intense responsibility, seeing and facing things most of us will likely only ever imagine, if that's even possible for us.

Soon the equipment will ship out and we'll update our wills, get special powers of attorneys, contact our bank and credit cards about the deployment, complete last minute tasks around the house, and do all the things we have to do as a family and as a couple to be ready for this deployment.

Soon we'll have two precious weeks of block leave (vacation) together. We will take many, many pictures and smile many, many smiles and enjoy every minute of it.

Soon the kids will get clingy and sad. Soon they will each get a calendar so that they can count down the days of deployment and they will break out their letter writing kits. Soon they will need to creep into the bed I'm sleeping in alone to snuggle more and more. They will help me fill boxes for their dad, filled with colored pictures and notes and photos and small trinkets they want to share with him. We will all go the post office, fill out the overseas shipping forms, tape the box up, and send it very far away. We will imagine the sand in that very old place, wonder how the air smells there.

Soon I will cook smaller dinners. And frankly, probably get Subway more often. Soon, in the stress of the final few weeks, I will wish he would just leave already, so we can get on with getting by and waiting for him to come home. I will call my fellow army wives, my very dear friends, and they will know exactly what I mean and how I feel. Because they are feeling it or have felt it too. We will go to the gym together and joke about how the junk in our trunk will look SO HOT when the guys get back. We will split a bottle of wine. I will remember again and again why I am so grateful to have them in my life, why if anyone asks for my advice, I always tell them not to move home for deployments. You can't get this back in your civilian hometown.

Soon what I put in this blog will feel more like a love letter. A letter to my husband far away, sharing parts of our days and hoping he feels part of them. A letter to my kids, remembering all those little moments that fly by so quickly. A letter to myself, being present in the fresh page of every day. A letter to anyone else reading, because what we share always has a way of meaning something to someone else.

Soon.

Children's theatre, and a movie observation

2009-05-21T14:09:00.007-04:00

Last weekend we took the kids and went to Syracuse with some of our old neighbors. We went to a restaurant called The Spaghetti Warehouse where a children's theatre troupe was putting on a play. The Emperor's New Clothes, in fact.

Children's theatre is always just plain fun (in my experience) and the kids had a great time, although I have to admit that the play we saw at The Skinny Improv in Springfield, MO was much, much better...not to mention longer. But it was still worth it, and it was nice to get out and do something a bit different.

When the play was over and we had filled our bellies with good Italian food we went to the Children's Museum, where there was rock wall climbing, a session in the planetarium (where Benjamin kept loudly proclaiming that various constellations did NOT look like what the man was telling us they were, but like a shoe), and then there was this fabulous cycling skeleton who rode his bike as you pedaled so we could see how the bones worked.

It's so nice to see the kids learning, isn't it?

The following Monday Clint was able to leave work early and we went to the movies before the kids were done with school. We saw Angels & Demons, because Clint has read the book and really wanted to see it. I enjoyed it for what it was, and it was extremely fast paced. Now, I haven't read the book so I can't say what the book was going for, but it amused me (in a very ironic way) that the only woman playing any part in the story is responsible for bringing about antimatter, the extremely explosive substance which was stolen and is being used to perhaps blow up the Vatican. So here's a movie that seems to want to make some sort of statement or give some sort of insight about religion, Catholicism in particular, and it gives us an all male view. Oh, except for the woman taking the apple from the serpent. I mean, the woman scientist who created antimatter. You know, that old chestnut.

Ah well. It did have Ewan McGregor, and I don't care who you are, Ewan is hot and a damn good actor.

And now I have to clean up my den of disobedience a bit before getting the kids from school.

Mama's Day Musing

2009-05-10T00:42:00.007-04:00

You know, I'm not one to get in to random holidays, particularly ones that seem rather driven by consumer culture like, say, Valentine's Day. I like birthdays and I like holidays laden with old traditions, even if the traditions are just ones you've made up in your own family, and "old" is relative to how long your family has been celebrating it. But the Hallmark Holidays? Totally not my thing. And yet, I like Mother's Day. I don't like it so much for it being about honoring me, the Mama, because I don't need a day printed on the calendar for that (and I can't help but think of all the other women who aren't mothers and are no less for it, or the people who don't have mothers with or near them anymore, or the people struggling with any number of heartaches around the very complex and often messy circumstances of motherhood). No, I like it for the kids. I like how excited it makes my children to consciously celebrate that they are my children. I love their sweet, open faces as they pour a handful of crushed dandelions into my cupped palms. I love the ecstasy you can see in them, in knowing they have thought and worked on some small token that has brought a smile and a squeal from their Mama.

I am thinking about this particularly this year after seeing Benjamin's Kindergarten class at the Tea they put on. All of those kids were beaming at their mothers. All of them were so proud and so transparently full of delight in loving and being loved by that person who came to be honored. Sometimes there is a humility necessary in stepping away from "I don't need XYZ because of a calendar date" and allowing someone to honor you because they want to. And that's Mother's Day...it's about them to be about me at all. It might be called Mother's Day but it's the children who make you a player in it.

It makes me think about how every year on Sophia's birthday, it always feels like it's the day two people were born. My first child slipped out of my body but she birthed me as her mother in doing so.

I am not the same person I was before I called myself a Mama. I am continually, constantly glad of it.

A few nights ago Benjamin was cuddling to sleep with me in bed, and he was rambling in the way he does and he somehow got on the topic of What Happens When We Die, which is something he mulls and seems pretty appropriate to his age. He asked, again, as he does, "Do you think we all start back over again and again, Mama?" and I said, as I always gently do, that I just don't know for sure. And then he said, "When you die and I die, I'm going to hold tightly to you so that if we start over you will be my Mama again." And I said, "I always want to be your Mama."

And that was enough for both of us.

Mother's Day Tea, and My Daughter Has A Cooler Haircut Than I Do

2009-05-08T19:55:00.009-04:00

This is Benjamin and I after the Mother's Day Tea at his Kindergarten, with the poem he gave me. There was also a poem recited and a very cute song sung. When I arrived he met me at the door, took me to my seat, and pulled my chair out for me. He also picked me flowers and we had tea and punch and cookies together. I wish I could show you how all their little faces were beaming with such joy and excitement in what they had planned and done for us, their Mamas. I actually get rather teared up when I think of his proud and loving little face this afternoon. It was so much more than I ever expected it to be.

Lately it seems like we have been sick constantly. Seriously, it has been one thing after another between us...I cannot remember a year EVER where the kids have been sick this often. I thought maybe it was having two kids in public school now, but other people tell me it's been a bad year for them, too. You can see how being sick brings the little hellmonkeys down. Right now Sophia is getting over an ear infection and we're all starting to feel better after a stomach bug.

We did find time to get the kids' hair cut recently, and now it seems my eight year old daughter has hipper hair than I do. If I looked good in short hair I would totally steal her style. She loves it, too, except she's lobbying hard for blue highlights now. I think the coolness has gone to her head a little. She also recently told me that she's "not in to pink anymore, Mom" and prefers "dark colors for nail polish." Hmm.

Have I mentioned my red shoes? ?!! They were my birthday gift (you know, the kind where Clint came home from work one evening in early March and I said, "Oh, honey, thank you for the birthday gift you ordered me from Zappos today! They're exactly what I wanted!!" and he just nodded his head and was glad THAT ordeal was taken care of), and they make me irrationally, indecently happy. They're made by Ecco and are thus also one of the more comfortable pairs of foot attire I've ever worn. There's not much that brightens up my day to day like interesting footwear. I have a drawer full of colorful and often striped socks, too.

Yesterday I went to get ready and pick the kids up from school and discovered I had no underwear clean. This was extremely ironic as I had actually been doing quite a lot of laundry (something I can't always say for myself) but had somehow neglected my own underwear. Now I know this is going to bother you, and you are wondering in your mind if I went out in public with no decent undergarments, so I will tell you that I went and got a pair I had just put in the dryer and went at them with the hairdryer. Scorn me if you will, but sometimes I think I win at life.

And I get to hang out with this:

Something Blue

2009-04-01T11:54:00.006-04:00

...on a gray, cloudy day. This is our bedroom in the new house, with our new bed that I am wildly in love with. I painted the room right after we got the keys, before we moved in, and I also love the color. It's a bit darker in person than the photo shows, probably because I took this today, when it is gray and rainy and the flash had to burn out extra bright, and it feels like relaxing in a sea of blue, or perhaps that shade of summer sky in the deep part of a particularly clear afternoon.

Here's a picture from Benjamin's birthday party, as he opens presents still wearing his Indiana Jones hat.

And here is Benjamin's cake that we made him. He very decidedly picked out pink icing. And I cannot lie: I love that he did. We are a family very attached to color, I think.

Long Time, No Type

2009-03-30T16:22:00.006-04:00

But quite a lot has happened around here. First of all, we bought a house and moved into it. I really was set against buying, but Clint was very determined and we were somewhat unhappy with our renting arrangement (mainly just about the money) and so I find myself in a house that we purchased. It's a 1923 bungalow, and I do love it. It feels very strange, though. I confess to having moments of feeling extremely claustrophobic about it all. Until now, it has always been relatively easy for us to pick up and move wherever with very little notice, and I have to say I miss that. I feel rather tied down now. But the house is great. There are some things that need fixed up, but nothing we can't handle.

What else? Good things first, I think. Benjamin turned six!! This seems supremely shocking to me, but maybe that's just a Mama Thing. We had a party for him at the house which he enjoyed very much, and made me extremely tired. He dressed up as Indiana Jones (he wants to be an archaeologist now) and ran around in the brilliant 60 degree weather with his friends. (Oh, that brilliant weather? Today it is snowing. Hmph.) He received lots of Bakugan and some Ben 10 stuff and Indiana Jones Legos (his newest obsession) and the last season of Avatar.

He recently picked out a group of 3 chapter books to be read aloud, beginning with Bunnicula, and both kids are enjoying them very much. Sophia is reading the first Harry Potter book on her own and we're slowly reading through Coraline together. The kids are also both into board games now, which is very fun and means we can have family game nights.

Our other big news is that Clint will be leaving for Afghanistan some time in July for a 12 month deployment. As you can imagine, we are gearing up for that in various ways and it will no doubt only get busier from here on out. I plan on using this blog a lot more...hopefully Clint will have some sort of internet access over there and using this blog to post about our days will seem like we're sharing it a bit more with him -- and with you too, of course.

Right now I have to go get dinner out of the oven and settle a dispute about which movie to watch, though. :)

Holidays!

2008-12-01T08:52:00.006-05:00

We put our tree up last night, and the cat is having herself a grand old time climbing it and laying in the middle branches, casually batting a paw at nearby ornaments from time to time. The kids are getting excited; there are plays at school coming up and cookies to bake and ornaments to make and there is snow on the ground.

We had neighbors over for Thanksgiving...lots of neighbors. Five adults and eleven children filled our house, and it was wonderful. I love my neighbors. Right now their husbands are deployed to Iraq, so it was nice to be all together, with the kids playing and being loud and jolly. Clint even successfully carved his first turkey.

So that's pretty much what we're up to here. Work takes up a lot of my attention, unfortunately. Holidays in retail suck a little of the general joy in mankind the season should be bringing, but I'm thankful for the schedule they give me (because it could be so bad, really) and the extra paycheck that is helping us along with holidays and another Big Thing coming up, and also for the fun coworkers I have. So we'll be spinning madly through December, and hopefully come January I will be slowing down and be more "present" in other areas of my life. I'm looking forward to that.

Oh Autumn!

2008-10-11T09:01:00.008-04:00

Seasons of mist and mellow fruitfulness, indeed! Autumn is giving us thrills here in upstate NY. The weather is gorgeous, the leaves are magnificent swirls of color, and the area is ripe with possibilities for our weekend adventures. Last weekend we went to Behling Orchards and picked 34 lbs of apples! We went with our good friends and neighbors, and all had a blast.

We've made apple pies and applesauce. We might try an apple cake today. And more applesauce to freeze, of course. Today is also pumpkin carving day. Thank goodness the kids are off from school today, or I' not sure how we'd get all our fall fun done!

Ode to Autumn
by John Keats

Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness!
Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;
Conspiring with him how to load and bless
With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eaves run;
To bend with apples the mossed cottage-trees,
And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core;
To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells
With a sweet kernel; to set budding more,
And still more, later flowers for the bees,
Until they think warm days will never cease,
For Summer has o'erbrimmed their clammy cells.

Who hath not seen thee oft amid thy store?
Sometimes whoever seeks abroad may find
Thee sitting careless on a granary floor,
Thy hair soft-lifted by the winnowing wind;
Or on a half-reaped furrow sound asleep,
Drowsed with the fume of poppies, while thy hook
Spares the next swath and all its twined flowers;
And sometimes like a gleaner thou dost keep
Steady thy laden head across a brook;
Or by a cider-press, with patient look,
Thou watchest the last oozings, hours by hours.

Where are the songs of Spring? Ay, where are they?
Think not of them, thou hast thy music too, -
While barred clouds bloom the soft-dying day
And touch the stubble-plains with rosy hue;
Then in a wailful choir the small gnats mourn
Among the river sallows, borne aloft
Or sinking as the light wind lives or dies;
And full-grown lambs loud bleat from hilly bourn;
Hedge-crickets sing, and now with treble soft
The redbreast whistles from a garden-croft;
And gathering swallows twitter in the skies.

Productivity? Nah.

2008-08-12T16:25:00.002-04:00

I'm trying to think of what I've accomplished in terms of crafty stuff, or creativity in general, over the summer and it's kind of embarrassing. I made a tote bag for Sophia's best friend as part of her birthday gift, but didn't get a picture of it. But! Look, I did make these curtains for our living room. Finally, WE HAVE WINDOW TREATMENT. It's a big window, as you can see, and the room just needed something bright. So I got this Robert Kaufman fabric from Sew Mama, Sew and whipped these up. It wasn't exactly hard...I almost feel guilty bragging about it.

Anyway. I think they do add some sunshine to the room. I bought some of those little rings that hang on the curtain rod and clip to the fabric, so I didn't even have to worry much about my top measurements since the rod doesn't actually run through the fabric. See? I'm lame.

The kids are staying with their Nana and Papa in West Virginia for probably about 2 weeks. That seems like such a long time...I feel a little weepy about them being gone for so long, but they were very excited about it. And! And! I start a job at Border's next week! I really wanted this job. It's just part-time right now, but that's perfect as we transition Benjamin into Kindergarten and Sophia into 2nd grade and we all get used to it.

And this week? I'm going to clean the house. And what I clean won't be immediately demolished as soon as I leave the room. And I'm going to read. A lot. Yes.

in which I am beyond pathetic

2008-07-28T12:17:00.002-04:00

Yes, somehow a huge chunk of time has passed me by, and I haven't paid a bit of attention to this blog in the meantime. It's pure laziness.

We have been having a good summer, though. It's funny, but summer has always been my least favorite season. (I am not a fan of Heat, and I don't cope very well with sweltering temperatures.) But summers here, in Northern New York? Have me definitely rethinking that preference. It's just gorgeous here on a sunny summer afternoon. I'm used to humid river valleys in the summer. And then there was last summer, in Missouri, when walking outside actually felt like being slapped in the face. There was that day my car's temperature gauge read 112 degrees, too.

I heart you, Northern New York.

So, we've hit the Renaissance Festival at Sterling (where the Masked Man and the Faire Maiden had much fun and even rode this camel!), went camping with Sarah and her kids, toured Genessee Country Village with them, spent a lot of time outside, and enjoyed the wonderful free splash park here on base with lovely friends. The kids are seriously thriving here; the neighborhood is awesome, and they have Best Friends who live just a few houses up to play with every day. I can't believe our good fortune, or quite how much I love it here.

Here's some gratuitous picture spam.

Benjamin chases a chicken at Genessee Country Village.

Sophia rocks the Faire Maiden look at Sterling.

Spalsh park fun.

And now I can feel like I have accomplished something in terms of this blog. And vow to update more often, and soon.

I am so popular among the younger set

2008-05-13T21:54:00.002-04:00

This week Clint is on a field mission so I've been letting the kids sleep with me. (It's a beloved treat, for all of us.) I started in the middle last night but around 1am had to shift a kid over and get that little bit more space to stretch out. Tonight I set my terms that I wasn't in the middle and the negotiations began. Sophia claimed the middle and Benjamin got all put out and started pouting about not "laying beside Mama." The deal was that tomorrow night it's his turn to be in the middle, and there was lots of "Benjamin, you always get to be beside Mama!" and "Sophia, why don't you go to your own bed!" but the issue pretty much got settled and they quieted down.

Then as soon as Sophia started snoring (about 3 minutes later), Benjamin promptly rolled over her and proceeded to wedge his little body between us. Now he's patting my arm while I type and savoring his Machiavellian triumph.

I feel so wildly popular.

Mother's Day

2008-05-13T08:48:00.004-04:00

I love this picture. It's my great grandmother, Violet, with my grandmother, Ghislaine. My great grandmother passed away a few years ago, but this picture of her, a young mother looking over her shoulder with the sunlight on her back, makes me happy. I have another picture, with her and her grown daughter encircling my mother and her two siblings, that I would have liked to post, but alas...it isn't scanned to my computer. I have a deep, desperate love of old photographs, and I've been lucky enough to be given quite a few from my mother's side of the family.

I had a great Mother's Day. Not only did I get the Best Mama Present Ever, but the day itself was a joy. We went for a hike on a beautiful trail here on base, which circled a pond and was just long enough to be a hike without too much carrying of the children involved. (Ok, Benjamin isn't the best walker and he spent about 10 minutes up on my shoulders toward the end.) It was such a gorgeous day. I can see us doing that walk a lot. Clint grilled after that, and we even had brownies while we watched a movie. Perfect.

This was my present. I found the artist on Etsy and she did a fantastic job on this necklace. I just adore it and have been wearing it constantly. Sophia also brought home a card she made for me in art class, and it's pretty fabulous.

We saw Iron Man on Saturday, and everyone enjoyed it. Benjamin had been pretty ambivalent about Iron Man, which is surprising given his love of super heroes. So when we left the theater I asked him if he liked it, and he said, "Yes. And when I say 'yes,' I mean 'AWESOME'!" Score.

On Friday I got Sophia out of school a bit early because Clint's company was having a family event at the bowling alley. They had a lane set up with bumpers for the kids and they had cake. Cake seems to be a universal happy-maker. It was the kids' first time bowling, and they both loved it. I'm not a big fan myself, but I can see I'll have to suck it up and take them more often.

Anyway, the whole weekend can basically be summed up as: I am one lucky mama.

Happy Belated Mother's Day to all!

It's May Already!

2008-05-08T15:29:00.002-04:00

Man, where did April go? Hmm.

Anyway, Sophia gave a gripping performance this week in her school's spring concert as Blind Mouse #3. She had about six lines, which she memorized with great deliberation and delivered with impressively calm perfection. Her favorite part? The tail on her costume.

Also, see those glasses on her face? They're new. You can't see them all that well in that picture, but they're the classic tortoise shell, plastic frames. Sophia does not have a very good track record with glasses. This is her fourth pair since she was screened not quite two years ago. The first two pairs? She simply lost. The last one? She left on the floor and the dog put a few chips on one of the lenses. She continued to wear them until they literally fell apart and fell off her face in school one day. The girl is hard on eye wear. And she wanted me to spring for Hannah Montana frames. Um, maybe next time, Sophia.

Benjamin's new favorite thing is to have his breakfast on a tray. Pictured is a general favorite around here: hot chocolate and oatmeal with syrup and brown sugar stirred in. Earlier this week I had to take him to the clinic here on base to have a tick removed from his head. He was so brave and kept so still, even though it hurt him a good bit while they were trying to get all of it out. They tested the tick, and unfortunately it was carrying lyme disease, so he's on a fairly heavy dose of Amoxycillin and is going in for a blood test tomorrow morning. Good thoughts are appreciated. Apparently ticks and lyme disease are pretty bad in this area.

I think we're going to see Iron Man this weekend. Everyone is excited!

Feels like Summer...

2008-04-22T17:35:00.003-04:00

For all the snow, and for all that it felt like spring was never going to quite arrive here in upstate New York, we're having weather that is positively balmy now, and have been for more than a week. It is quite simply gorgeous. I think I will adore the summers here. The kids got new shoes to see them through all their summer adventuring: "performance sandals". They love them because they're comfortable and they can get them wet. I love them because they keep their feet fairly protected and they just wash off when they get muddy or dirty. Plus they can be worn to school and such. So versatile.

Benjamin and I went thrifting today, and I totally scored. I found these vintage orange pyrex mugs, which I love way too much to be normal, and this hand-sewn patchwork panel at the lovely local store that encloses antiques, a nursery/garden supply shop, and foody, crafty new things all in one delightful and dangerous stop. (It's the same place my birthday table came from.) We also picked up two small vases at the post thrift shop, which we've filled with some of the flowers growing in the front garden. And I only spent $20!!

Here's a close-up of the patchwork piece I found. I debated turning it into a pillow, but instead decided to use a frame I had on hand from a picture I was gifted but just isn't me, and turned it into some wall art. I really like how it turned out, even though the piece doesn't quite "fit" in the frame.

Clint is in the field for the week, so I'm making a non-meat dinner. I can't do that very often when he's here; he says he can't get full without some meat, and unfortunately he just wasn't raised as a veggie person. Oh, I make him eat them along with the rest of us, but his caveman heart just isn't in it. He is so very happy grilling season is here, and he can "burn some meat myself and eat it." And I really do *love* his grilled chicken and burgers. But tonight, we're having steamed veggies and rice. Yummy, easy, intensely satisfying...and good for the one person in this house trying to shed some extra pounds, too.

"April is the cruelest month / breeding lilacs out of dead land"

2008-04-16T20:19:00.004-04:00

Or daffodils, in this case. And I really hope my paraphrase of the beloved Eliot's lines isn't terribly far off.

You know, I'm feeling incredibly blessed about a whole lot of things. I have two of the most amazing, spirited, imaginative, fun, kind, stubborn, caring, inquisitive and intelligent kids I've ever encountered anywhere. Every single day I am surprised at my good fortune, being their Mama. I have a husband who is funny, hard-working, loving, successful, fun, and supportive. I'm even grateful for the year we have leading up to his deployment rather than bitter about the time we'll spend apart and the danger he'll be in. I love this area we've landed in; I love our house and neighborhood; I love the flowers sprouting their newly-green bodies up from bulbs some other soul planted when they lived here.

Sophia goes to sleep every night with her audiobook of The Secret Garden playing. She's watching the movie as I type. It's a story I have always loved, and its insistence on finding the good things, what is "wick" underneath what appears to be dead or dormant, seems to speak even more clearly to me now.

We just got back from a visit to West Virginia and Clint's mother, who is no longer struggling with her cancer, but meeting its eventuality and going on with the business of her life with a grace I hope I can one day muster. It is a sad thing, "it is a fearful thing to love what death can touch," but I am also reminded of the great abundance we carry inside for wonderful things; forgiveness, courage, tender kindness that spreads like the roots of growing things. I can see how my children show their loving souls and quite honestly feel nothing but humility in the face of it.

Clint also got to spend his birthday with his mother and his twin sister, all pictured above. Sophia and Benjamin are still a little puzzled about twins that don't look alike. Anyway, we had a good visit but we're glad the trip itself is over and we're home.

I took these amazing little souls to the small zoo downtown at Thompson Park today, as Sophia is off all week for spring break. They had a great time, and I've promised to take them back to the big park beside the zoo before the week is out. We're officially on the hunt for the Perfect Summer Shoes for them, too. I'd like to get them a pair of Keen performance sandals, since I have a pair I absolutely love and I know how well they wear, but I've yet to find them anywhere but online and I really want to fit them properly.

Clint is pulling all-night duty right now, but I'm having a glass of wine, both kids are showered, watching tv with their still damp hair and looking and smelling sweet in their pajamas, and soon we're going to snuggle up in my bed with a chapter book. And all I can think is how much I love my life.

On Supporting Handmade and Indy Artists

2008-04-04T10:01:00.003-04:00

I spoke about by newest passion, buying or producing handmade or independent items whenever possible, on a recent entry, and I thought I'd talk a little more about it. See, my wonderful grandmother sent me a chunk of money for my recent birthday, and I decided to use it to finally get some of the art I've been salivating over for awhile now. All of the artists have Etsy shops (I'm telling you, Etsy is a magical place!). The first picture is the package I received when I ordered a print from TillyBloom. Not only did I get the totally fabulous print I paid for, but she sent a few business cards, a coupon for free shipping, a note, and a Stash vanilla chai tea-bag for my enjoyment.

The next photo shows what I received from AnneJulie, who I ordered two prints from. She sent along a handwritten note of thanks and an extra little print which is so sweet. So not only did I get the satisfaction of buying art from an independent artist, but I got so much more for the money I spent than I could have done buying a print of something from Art.com or a big store somewhere. Not only can you find insanely wonderful things from people producing and selling outside the big corporate box, but you can get those great things on a budget.

It's just made of win.

I'm still waiting to receive a few handmade rubber stamps from a Canadian artist. Soon I know I'm going to break down and purchase this button ring kit. What a cool gift this would make for a child's birthday! And come on, I want to make them, too!

Jewelry? The next time I buy a piece, I'm definitely getting one of these incredible necklaces. (One of the bird ones, because you know I have a Huge Thing for birds.)

So what's my point? Well, mostly to share with you the wonders of Etsy and a small slice of all the extremely talented people producing indy art and handmade items. And you know, whenever I used to think about the movement to steer away from mass produced, big store items, I usually thought about how hard that would be, and how pricey. But I was wrong. I've just used the outlet of Etsy in my quest to commit to handmade. There are so many other ways to find and support artists like this, local artists and people producing all kinds of things right in your area. It can be as simple and fulfilling as going to the farmer's market in the summer. Try the local wine, buy the maple syrup that's made in your area, or the cheese, or whatever. Don't be afraid to make something the next time you want to give someone a gift; I think almost everyone can deeply appreciate the time, effort, and love that goes into a handmade gift. I know that I adore receiving such things.

And I feel so good supporting it!

Happy Birthday, Benjamin!!

2008-03-31T11:05:00.003-04:00

My baby boy turned five and he had a pirate birthday party. I think it went pretty well. His friend from up the street was able to come, and so were our very dear friends from Rochester, Sarah and her fabulous children, so both Benjamin and Sophia were over the moon about that. (And I was pretty giddy myself.)

He had strawberry cupcakes, pizza, little hot dogs, and an ice cream cake. Yep, we cracked those kids up good and then sent some of them home! The mothers probably hate us! I was a little worried about what to do with the kids, especially as we had a range of ages, but they pretty much just ran around the house and entertained themselves. Benjamin had one of his presents, a Pirates of the Caribbean cd player (the actual part where the cd goes is Davy Jones' heart! it glows!!), set up on a table with the goody bags and we had some pirate music. But far and away, Benjamin's favorite thing to play on his new present is Funky-town, as sung by The Chipmunks. He repeatedly asks me if I want to "see his moves".

Sophia made this for the party. She kept saying things like, "I really want Benjamin to have a good party, because he's my little brother and I know he just wants some friends." And I was like, "Gee, it's really wonderful that you care so much about your brother, Sophia, but quit making him sound like a complete social outcast!"

I also made small bags from a pirate fabric I had at the house. These became the goody bags, which we filled with some candy, small pirate telescopes and play gold from the dollar store, and some saltwater taffy. It was very, very easy, and I used some self-adhesive velcro so they fasten together at the top.
Maybe the kids will use the little bags for something aside from the goody-bag lifespan.

So Benjamin had a great birthday, and we had a great weekend with Sarah and her kids. Couldn't ask for much more.

Bookish Things

2008-03-27T13:32:00.002-04:00

I love children's books. Even if I didn't have children, I would probably be a collector. Don't get me wrong, we love the library and we use it often, but we also own a LOT of children's books. There is a bookcase in each of the kids' rooms that are full and more besides. Some are from my own childhood, many are from my rabid spirit of acquisition when it comes to books. I also own many books of fairytales and books talking about fairytales. What I adore more than anything are books that catch the imagination in such a way that they're almost landmarks of growing up. My favorite book of all time was and is Anne of Green Gables; even the language of that beloved tome is woven so inexorably into my growing up that it continues to shape how I see things.

I mean, "kindred spirits," anyone?

I'm so glad that Sophia and Benjamin see as much magic in books as I do. You know how you always say (and believe!) that it doesn't matter what your kids love, you will always encourage their own interests and passions? Well, yes. But I would have been utterly crushed if they didn't adore books.

I ordered them each a new book for their spring baskets. They didn't quite arrive in time for that, but they're here now and we're poring over them. The pictures are from Benjamin's gift, Peter in Blueberry Land, by the fantastic Swedish author and illustrator Elsa Beskow. We own several already, and they are great favorites of both the kids and myself. Written over a century ago, they are as enchanting as they ever could have been, with the added fascination that comes with seeing aspects of a different way of life. My kids are enthralled with the depictions in some of the books of harvesting, hand making items used in the household, and -of course- the clothing in the illustrations.

The books usually deal with some element of the mythical or magical. The King of Blueberry Land taps Peter on the foot to shrink him down to his size and they go off to meet the blueberry children and have great adventures. Another book shows the life, through the seasons, of the "Children of the Forest", people smaller than mice who wear red spotted caps to look like mushrooms if danger comes near.

Sophia received the first book in the Sisters Grimm series, which I think we will enjoy reading together.

I recently picked up The Other Boleyn Girl on a recommendation. I like a good, enticing, semi-trashy read sometimes. I'm only a few chapters in, but so far I'm not that impressed. Hopefully it will pick up and grab me a bit better as I get further into it. I'm kind of on a York/Tudor kick now, actually. I read The Daughter of Time last week, which deals with the historical accuracy of Richard the Third being accused of murdering his young nephews, the two princes in the tower. Richard was killed at Bosworth, and Henry 7 became king which of course ushered in the Tudors. (It was a good book.) And I'm watching dvds of the first season of The Tudors, with the very yummy Jonathan Rhys Meyers playing an impossibly hot and clean Henry 8. So that's fun.

Sophia has a project in her school's science fair today. She did it on "what's inside an egg." Can you believe 1st graders are doing science projects?! It seems young to me. But she's excited, and she even has note cards and a planned-out hand flourish. I'll let you know how she did.

Birthdays

2008-03-26T09:41:00.003-04:00

My birthday and Benjamin's birthday are only three days apart. I distinctly remember having a birthday while hugely pregnant with him and ordered on bed rest. I made Clint go buy me a ham dinner from Kenny Roger's and watched The Sound of Music with Sophia on the couch. Now my little boy is turning five on Friday and Sophia's favorite actress is still Julie Andrews.

Anyway, my birthday yesterday began with being sung to by Clint as he climbed the stairs in his sweaty PT's, which was much lovelier than it sounds, and continued with a latte and donut and a homemade card from Sophia, which was perfect. Clint bought me this old enamel-topped table which I've been coveting from an antique shop nearby. I am totally in love with it. I've decided that it's my new writing desk. (Now I just have to use it for its intended purpose!)

The kids and I picked up some sushi from the man who makes it at the grocery store for lunch, read a little, I took a short, glorious nap, and then Clint took us out to eat when he got home from work. We went to a fantastic Italian place in Watertown...it was way pricier than we expected but the food was truly an experience so I'm trying not to think about it too hard.

Look at this vintage tablecloth I got at the same antique shop as my table! Complete with the cat, who absolutely refused to move for the picture. I love vintage textiles, and this one is in awesome condition. My mother is going to give me some vintage sheets and such that belonged to my great grandmother for using in sewing projects, so I'm really excited about that. I think they'll make good backings for quilts.

So Friday, Benjamin decreed he wants a birthday dinner of roasted chicken, macaroni and cheese, cucumbers, and marshmallows. Which I think we can do. And then on Saturday he's having a small pirate party. I just can't believe he's going to be five years old.

Sigh.

Handmade for Spring

2008-03-20T10:15:00.003-04:00

I'm really invested in choosing handmade as often as possible these days. First of all, I love getting handmade items. A homemade gift is layered with so much thought and intent that it just feels special, ya know? Now, I know that we don't always have the time to devote to handmade items, nor do we always have the inclination toward handmaking something. So the other facet of my newish devotion to handmade is buying handmade whenever possible. I love love love Etsy for this. There are all kinds of vendors on this site, selling knitted things, sewn things, jewelry, art, dolls, paper goods, and it goes on and on. Not only does buying handmade support the people who make these wonderful things (while NOT supporting all the creepy business practices from some large chains out there) but you get a really fantastic, often heirloom quality, product from the transaction.

Anyway, I decided to make something for the kids' spring baskets this year. I got the pattern for these knitted hares from our copy of All Year Round, a seasonal celebrations book, very Waldorf style. (It's little caption says something about Christian celebrations, but it isn't at all preachy and doesn't feel like that. While it has Christmas and Easter ideas, it also has ideas for each equinox and solstice. It's very inclusive.)

These were very easy to make: all you need to know is the basic knit stitch. I got some mohair yarn and cotton stuffing from Michael's, and used some $1 yarn scraps I got from the bargain bin at Target to brighten up their wee necks.

Normally I'd give them their spring baskets today, the equinox, but the books I ordered them haven't arrived yet and my mother is coming to visit on Friday. Since she celebrates Easter, we might wait so she can be included in our celebration.

We are going to make egg baskets from shredded wheat and melted chocolate, a la Angry Chicken and welcome spring our own way.

(Please spring, come here soon!)

Quickenings

2008-03-16T17:20:00.002-04:00

Here we are nearing the first day of spring, feeling the sudden sense of the wheel of our year turning again, and we're still looking at a foot of snow on the ground here in northern New York. And yet...the past few days I've begun to feel spring, somewhere under the snow, under the ground, quickening and stirring and ready to burst out. I always imagine it like an embryo, spinning quietly under the top soil that is still hard and frozen, waiting for its moment. The temperature gauge on my car this afternoon said it was 35 degrees outside, but with some sunshine smiling down on us after weeks of overcast skies, it felt much warmer, and it was almost as if you could smell spring in the wind.

I don't actually mind winters. I rather like nesting down in a warm house, soup simmering on the stove and hot tea and cocoa in mugs, reading or knitting as the snow falls outside. There is something deep down that even needs this "hibernation" of sorts, like anything creative or anything new needs a period in the womb, a period to develop quietly. But I'm really ready for the year to turn now. I'm ready for damp, warmer breezes and rain boots, for the scent of green things popping up, for long walks, for afternoons spent out in the yard. I'm ready for fresher produce. Clint is going to build me some boxes to plant herbs in; we have a fenced-in yard, but it's rather small and I don't want to plant my herbs on the ground because I have more than a sneaking suspicion they'll get peed on by the dog. So Clint is going to anchor some boxes to our fence. I can't wait for fresh mint and basil. I'd like to find a good co-op around the area.

And there is just something exciting about spring, something that energizes. I find that the downward turn toward the autumn equinox fills me with the same kind of energy. It's no surprise that those are my favorite times of year, I suppose.

The kids are doing very well. The picture above is from last month's Peacemaker Assembly at Sophia's school, with the 1st graders singing "What a Wonderful World." Sophia won an award for sharing, which of course tickled her to death. I am also just so pleased and proud of how her reading is going.

Benjamin is getting excited for his birthday, and we have planned a pirate party. He is giving out some invitations tomorrow to some of the neighbor children. He recently got really into a cartoon called "Avatar," and we found a dvd with the first 24 or so episodes at the bookstore. I was able to use a 30% off coupon and get it for a very reasonable price. I can't wait for him to open it. He's going to be very surprised and excited.

And continuing in the vein of new starts, of quickenings, my latest sewing projects have been baby gifts. We had friends over Friday evening who are expecting their first baby, a boy, in a week or two, and I gave them a gift set of a blanket, bib, and matching onesie that I made with my love, my Brother XL-2610. I'm pretty happy with how it all turned out, so I think this is my new gift for babies. And there seem to be a lot of people having babies lately.

Ah, spring...don't leave us waiting too long.

It's Love...

2008-02-25T22:29:00.002-05:00

Me and my sewing machine. We're past the flirting now. We're on to the long walks and moonlit talks. Soon it'll be the bottle of wine and the sloppily delivered professions of adoration phase.

Anyway, we've made some things together.

I got the pattern/guideline for this burp cloth from Handmade by Jill. This is the first one I made, flannel on both sides with some batting in between. I've made another with more traditionally boyish colors, and after I make several more these will go out in small stacks to people reproducing.

I'm really excited about the book I just got: Bend the Rules Sewing by Amy Karol, the same woman with the great Angry Chicken blog.

I took her pattern for a vintage apron and modified it to fit smaller persons. It's just some cotton fabric embellished with a pocket and some hand done embroidery. I used some vintage buttons from the big mason jar full of them I got from my great grandmother's house to hide the somewhat ugly seaming where the bias tape is on the pocket and for the embroidered flowers.

A close-up of the very much winged flowers.

I sat down with this about 1pm this afternoon and, no lie, finally foggily resurfaced about 4pm, just in time to go pick Sophia up from the bus stop.

Happily, Sophia was delighted with the gift I laboured on for an entire afternoon.

I am only further encouraged. As if my new machine and I needed more.

Oops

2008-02-22T16:06:00.003-05:00

There went all my resolution to post more frequently than once a month. I mean to write often, it's just that...I'm boring, ok?

This week Sophia has been on "winter break" from school, so we drove to visit our very dear friends in Rochester for two days. Sarah always manages to work some voodoo magic on me so that I am more cheerful when I leave than when I came. Except for the missing her part.

The kids had a blast, it pretty much goes without saying. I feel lucky to have such a close friend whose parenting style is also close to my own, so our respective children can run wild together and it's normal for everyone involved.

This is an older picture, from last year, but it makes me smile.

Other than that, we've been puttering around the house, watching some movies, reading books, knitting, and continuing to make the house look like ours.

I have to say, I hate all the neutral colors. Beige carpet (yuck, I loathe carpet anyway!), white walls, cream cabinets, white trim. The soul yearns for some color, ya know? My eyes feel assaulted when I have to look at white walls for too long. Alas, I am lazy and Clint is unenthusiastic about painting.So I've been hanging all our stuff up on the walls and I'm looking out for that perfect fabric to put on the large window in the living room to brighten things up.

I've been combining a lot of the old photos and things I have from my great grandmother with newer, more modern pieces including art prints, a blue tile I got at the market in Charleston, SC, and a great wooden bird with metal wings I got from Art For Your Soul in Fairmont, WV.

I got some great prints from Yumi Yumi's Etsy shop, and I am so very pleased with them. I have two already in frames and on the wall. Here are some close-ups:

And...um, I made little cakes for Valentine's Day? I really wanted to make my newest obsession, cake in a jar but apparently, bizarrely, good ol' mason jars are hard to find up here. So I was excited to see Michael's had little heart-shaped ramekins for $1 a piece.

These are oatmeal cake, but I also made some chocolate ones (vegan recipe from Sarah!) and iced them, then sent one along in Sophia's lunch bag.

So my next Big Thing is to set up my sewing/craft table, figure out my new machine, and get to work on a couple of cool patterns I found for baby bibs, burpies, and shoes. There are several people we know having babies, so I hope they turn out well enough to gift with a free conscience. I love getting handmade items...I just hope they will, too!

The "North Country"

2008-01-28T14:48:00.000-05:00

They call the area where we're living "the North Country," and when you realize that we're 30 minutes from Canada, it makes a lot of sense.

We lucked out and got a great house on post. Now, housing at Ft. Drum is a very tricky thing. The military has moved such large numbers of troops and their families here so quickly that there is no where near enough housing to go around. Our unusual good luck went like this: The housing department backdated our application to when Clint arrived in the US from his Korea tour. That would be last February, almost a year ago. Then, the fourteen people ahead of us all had something missing from their application. So we got this house. A friend of Clint's was just told that the waiting list he's on is up to 690+ days. Plus, we're in a section that was until a few months ago field officers' housing, which means commanders lived here. Which means we got a great house.

There are three bedrooms, two full bathrooms and a half one downstairs, a one car garage, fenced yard, laundry/mud room, and we got all new appliances. Why am I gloating in this way? Because I am so damned shocked that we tripped into this good luck. This is not how it usually goes for us! Clint is also happy with the post they gave him when he arrived, which is another huge blessing.

The kids have adjusted really well so far. Its been a bit hard for them; we've moved from Fairmont to Missouri, then back to West Virginia to stay with my parents for over a month, and now to New York. But both kids have made a friend on our street, friends that invite them over. (!!) Sophia loves her new teacher and school, and she's very excited to join Girl Scouts here. Benjamin is over the moon because I broke one of my Big Rules and we got cable. I've always been anti-cable, and we've never had it in any home we've lived in. I love movies too much to have ever gone TV-Free, but man, I was pretty hardcore about the no-cable. Of course, over a month at Nana and Papa's got Benjamin addicted to Noggin, which has all his favorite shows like Franklin and Little Bear and Max & Ruby. And for once, Clint wanted it. And (do you sense how I feel the need to make excuses?) we're indoors so much of the time here that I broke down and it was installed today. Benjamin is right this minute watching his beloved Noggin.

I think those early years of not having it have been years well spent, though. The kids will still happily turn off the tube to read a book. This makes Mama very, very happy.

(Let's not talk about that other Big Rule of No-Game Systems that got broken with the Nintendo DS's. It's like T.S. Eliot said in a quote that is near and dear to my heart: "The only wisdom we can hope to achieve is the wisdom of humility: humility is endless". Well, the longer I am a parent the more humble I become and also the more leery about making Big, Idealistic Rules.)

This North Country gets a lot of snow, which the kids are loving. Over the weekend we went and got some cheap sleds and some snowpants for the kids. And needless to say, their snow boots are getting a LOT of wear.

It's taking us awhile to settle in, both in the house and the new base/town. I find this post confusing, and although I normally have a really good sense of direction it took me over a week to make it to the Commissary without getting lost. It hasn't helped that they've changed the street names since I arrived. Who is in charge of that, I'd like to know? And who gets to name them? I'd like to volunteer for that job, if only I could find my way around. But we're getting there. The kids' rooms are done. Clint found a pizza place to love and make his own. I found a little Korean grocery to make me ridiculously happy. Sophia found purple earmuffs and Benjamin found the hat in the picture above, which he calls his "goblin hat" and wears everywhere, including the living room couch. So we're getting there, and I think we'll be just fine in our new home.

Halloween Hooligans

2007-11-22T10:37:00.001-05:00

For Halloween, Sophia decided to be the tweener-rock-Disney-princess Hannah Montana, who she adores. Go figure.

*is puzzled*

Benjamin, on the other hand, went in the other direction and decided to be a ninja.

These costume choices turned out to be happily painless, in both the logistics and the price tag, which made for a happy Mama.

For the Hannah Montana costume, we just picked random clothing already in Sophia's closet -you know, stuff with sparklies on it, and a denim jacket because apparently there is a picture of the ever-advertised icon in which she is wearing just that- bought a wig for $4, gave her some metallic blue eyeshadow, and stuffed a black sock onto a wooden spoon, applied electrical tape, and lo there was a microphone.

(That was Clint's addition, Mr. Crafty would like it known.)

Benjamin got a black fleece outfit from Old Navy, which has gotten a ton of wear on its own, and we picked up the black ski mask and mittens for about $3. His numchucks (I'm not sure if that's the correct spelling for numchucks, but I don't quite care enough to look it up) were made of paper towel rolls stuffed with grocery bags and then shoved into black dress socks, then more electrical tape was added. The transformation was then complete, and he became...Ninjamin!

Really, I didn't realize I had married MacGyver until the Halloween accessories had begun in earnest.

We ended up going to the party thrown by the USO here on post, for a few reasons. We weren't feeling the door-to-door this year because Benjamin was just a little ill and we didn't know the neighborhoods. We also knew a few people going to the USO thing, so we went and it was really well done. There were adults sitting around for the kids to go trick-or-treat, and they gave us cookies and popcorn and sodas. There were two movies playing, coloring tables set up, and it was all free and safe and warm and, well...contained.

It's like my parenting tip to a tired mom...take your kid to Barnes & Noble and let them play with the trains and look around, because the entire section is enclosed by a wall, with only one gap you have to monitor. Entrapment. That's the key to a successful day of parenting sometimes.

This last picture is here simply because it cracks me up so much. Hannah Montana has no idea, but she about to be attacked by that lurking Ninja with all his fancy kung-fu moves!

If that happened on the Disney show, I might watch it.

The Great Pumpkin Outing

2007-11-18T11:14:00.000-05:00

Yes, I know I have neglected this blog terribly. I don't have a good excuse. But look! Look at the picture! Pay no mind to the witless, lazy woman who finally posted it!

Last month (hangs head) we went in search of the perfect pumpkins at Meyer's Tree and Berry Farm, where they had a pumpkin patch, corn maze, ubiquitous big bouncy thing for kids, animals to pet, and pumpkin butter.

Ok, maybe the pumpkin butter was for me.

As a side note, when we parked and were getting out of the car, I asked Clint what had happened to the $20 bill he'd had the day before. He had $9 left, and when further queried on what he'd done with the other $11, he admitted he had spent it in the snack machine at work. Half impressed, half horrified, I exclaimed, "How do you spend $11 in a snack machine?!" And Benjamin, my four-year-old sweetheart, said, "Yeah, Dad, that's bullshit."

Oh eat your heart out, Martha Stewart! I win the parenting award!

In any case, my sailor-mouthed children enjoyed petting goats, climbing a huge bale of hay, sitting in a feed trough filled with grain, and operating these old water pumps.

Of course, it wasn't all fun and games, because we did come to hunt down and capture the elusive Perfect Pumpkin (tm).

So a short hay ride later, we approached the hunting grounds, which were refered to as "the pumpkin patch" by everyone else. Naive fools.

Here you can see Benjamin running away after he has skillfully snatched what might be his Perfect Pumpkin from the small boy who had his eye on it.

I think all that time spent besotted with Dora and learning the art of being sneaky from Swiper the Fox has paid off.

Sophia was also satisfyingly successful, as you can see by her big, cheesy grin.

Oh, the joy of beating all the smaller, slower kids to grab the best gourds from the thinning "pumpkin patch"!!!

So, flushed with the success of our pumpkin hunt, we felt sufficiently awesome enough to attempt the Corn Maze.

It was tough. The kids had to wrestle several times for dominance in leading the mission, or in other words, who got to walk in front with the tall orange flag, and once or twice I thought I saw them sizing me up for a food possibility if we should find ourselves stranded in the winding labyrinth for days on end, but we made it.

Uneaten.

Triumphant.

So when we returned home, the only thing left to do was carve the prize(s). The kids settled on "scary Halloween faces, please" while I went a little crazy and tried my hand at a cat. Clint scooped, if you were wondering.

Mission complete.

Puppy of Doom

2007-10-14T14:05:00.001-04:00

She's also known as the "beastly Bess," and if I tell you that when I see this particular picture of her or even simply think of the dog in context with the house in general, I hear that particular theme from horror movies --you know the one, the triple, high-pitched string notes when a sea creature is about to attack or someone is about to be stabbed violently-- well, if I tell you this perhaps you will have an inkling of the last few weeks here.

The dog has been on a chewing rampage. If there was a twelve step program for dogs with a chewing addiction, I would enroll dear Bess. Unfortunately, there's not (or, I haven't found one) and I know, oh I know, that this is A Puppy Thing. So we'll take all our lessons and put things away properly and protect others with plastic or steel or something very, very durable.

The first casualty was underwear. Lots and lots of underwear. Which she will climb into the big plastic hamper just to get, and maul. Then it was a variety of small toys, such as finding Benjamin's small Papo knight incapacitated and...dare I say, stripped of his manhood?...with three quarters of his jousting spear gnawed off.

Well, this IS a puppy we're talking about, right? This is completely normal, absolutely to be expected. This small being is a bundle of explodable energy, a tiny tornado of unquenchable enthusiasm for everything, including the taste of knights and underpants. Yes, yes of course, so when I found tooth marks in the tip of a wooden knitting needle, I reminded myself of this very thing, and cleansed myself of irritation and resentment.

But then...the real carnage began. My glasses, left on the night table, were stealthily stolen and the leg, the part that rests above the ear, was reduced to an unsightly mass of plastic. The lenses were undamaged though, and the munched part was hidden when I put them on! So I got over it, and put my glasses in the hall closet at night. Then the real blow, the sucker-punch to an internet-addicted stomach. A tiny tooth puncture, probably unintentional (you'd better hope so, Bess!) rendered the power adaptor to my laptop useless. And, since I have a MacBook, this power adaptor could not be found in a store anywhere near here. In fact, even the Apple store in St. Louis did not have any in stock. This power adaptor is apparently the only crappy thing Apple does! So I had to order one and was without The Internets for about a week.

Well, I survived obviously. And we really love this dog. As she chases a tennis ball around the back yard or latches on to Benjamin's pants leg for a good wrassle we can laugh about the Trouble she is. When her entire body convulses in wiggles of excitement as she greets us returning home or she burrows under the quilt against me in the early morning, only a small, wet, black nose poking out, I can almost...almost...say with total sincerity that I am over the cost of a new power adaptor.

I guess that's a sign another family member has cemented themselves into our household.

The Fabulous Destiny of a New Reader

2007-10-01T21:27:00.000-04:00

Sophia is actually reading now. It takes a lot of effort and she still needs to spend a lot of time sounding words out (because her list of sight words is pretty small when you think of all the different words that make up a story!) but she's doing it. It's exhilarating and exciting to watch her discover this new world all for herself. We've always done a lot of reading around here, but there is really a huge difference between only knowing books from being read to, and being able to explore them all on your own. She's not quite there yet, but she's so close we can both taste it.

I've also started reading bigger chapter books to the kids, and with Autumn approaching it puts all of us in the mood to cuddle up and read. I love that; the DVD player goes off and the Leapsters are put away and I know that those quiet hours are the ones that will stay with them like a shadow as they progress through their own adventures with knowledge and learning and the entire wide world that is open to them.

On a different tangent, what do you suppose the walls of a house would look like when the family who lives there brought next to nothing to it while they lived there? Would you think they would be bare? Well, not our walls! We are sporting our own, very special art gallery here. The artists are quite young, but very promising. Might be collector pieces one day.

Adventures in a Different Epoch; or otherwise entitled, This One's For You, Allison!

2007-09-25T00:40:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago we traveled to Kansas City to spend a day at the Renaissance Festival. Clint and I went to a festival near Charlotte years ago, and we were very pleasantly surprised to find that it didn't measure up to the one near Kansas City.

When we went in Charlotte, we were basically in an open field area with stalls and shops set up in groups, and entertainment in a few central locations. This festival's setting was clearly a permanent undertaking, with buildings and an intricate web of paths winding around the shops and eateries, all sprinkled with stages and spots where shows were going on or characters would accost festival-goers with random Antiquated English conjectures and conversations. (I say "antiquated" because they were not actually using Middle English, even if the beer stalls were labeled "Chaucer's Ale"...I've read Chaucer in Middle English, thank you, and a few thees and thous don't mean you're speaking Middle English!)

Ahem. Sorry.

We really enjoyed the performances we saw, which ranged from simple acapella singing to a full-blown joust. Unfortunately, I don't have pictures of the performance Clint and I enjoyed the most, called "The Wench Show," but I do have a jousting picture. We were on the side routing for Sir Geoffrey, the black and silver knight.

A particular highlight for the kids was the "ride" where they got to try their hand at slaying a dragon. They sat on a wooden horse which was lowered and sent flying along a rope toward the dragon. The object was to get the lance they were given through a ring where the dragon was smoking from the mouth.

Benjamin, receiving a bit of help (shhh, don't tell him that, ever) did indeed "slay the dragon."

Preparing for battle.

The approach.

Being knighted.

Sophia seemed particularly enamored with the fairies, as well as the very loud and gifted Queen, who paraded through the streets with a royal entourage. They each picked out one souvenir; Benjamin came away with a tshirt that says "Dragons Fear Me" (very appropriate, and he's really proud of his prowess), and Sophia picked out an ocarina. Besides my oh-I-cannot-resist-it! hooded Canterbury U sweatshirt, Clint and I got matching medallion necklaces from the Quick Silver Mint booth, where you pick out the engravings you want and they print the medallions out for you, and literally in front of you, by raising a 150 lb hammer nine feet in the air and dropping it onto the mold and medallion beneath. So, we each picked something out from the impressive catalogue of designs, and the necklaces were our anniverary gifts to ourselves.

We had a great day, and although the drive was pretty lengthy (about four hours each way), it was well worth it.

New Places and Faces

2007-09-18T14:13:00.000-04:00

We have set up and settled in to our temporary home in Missouri. Ft. Leonard Wood Housing provided us with a two bedroom house in an excellent location, and with a great big yard with trees to make us happy. We have no furniture beyond our mattresses, a folding card table and chairs in the kitchen, some camping chairs and bean bags for the kids. A strange part of me enjoys that fact. I've always had the half-hearted dream to abandon my belongings and live more simplistically, and now I am doing it for a few months, at the end of which I get my Stuff back. We have ended up buying some kitchen equipment we found we couldn't do without (but don't worry, I brought my coffee pot with me...everyone here is thankful for my foresight!) Otherwise, no one is having any major problems with the lack of Stuff. Oh, the kids sometimes wish for a certain toy or book that is packed up, and occassionally I have the pressing urge to look something up only to realize I don't have the book with me, but overall it's kind of amazing how little most of our possessions mean to us in the daily routine of things.
(I'll still be happy to see a lot of my Stuff when we move.)

Sophia started 1st grade here, and is doing very well. She is especially pleased because her school's mascot is a horse, which is her favorite animal, and because the school is close enough to our house that we can walk there. She has had three spelling tests so far and wishes everyone to know that she has earned perfect scores on them all. My daughter is sometimes so ambitious and competitive that it baffles me. She informed me that she now wants to be a Doctor-Farmer-Illustrator when she grows up.

Benjamin goes to the Part Day Preschool offered by the base childcare facility. Every Tuesday and Thursday morning he spends time with a fantastic teacher named Miss Ulla, who is from Germany, and they paint, sing, count, prepare snack, read, take nature walks, play on the playground, do self-portraits, and organize themselves into stations for pretend and hands-on play. I only wish Miss Ulla had him more than 6 hours a week...not because I don't want him with me, but because I'd like to hang out with her myself.

We have managed to acquire a puppy since coming here. Her name is Bess, and she is about 10 weeks old now. The kids adore her, Clint is twisted around her paw, and all I have to say is I forgot how much work puppies are. The cat was not pleased, but lately she has taken to allowing the puppy near enough to attempt a tussle with her, then flat-out slapping the dog around with what can only be called evil satisfaction.

Last month Clint had to have his appendix removed and was put on convalescent leave for two weeks, which meant that he had to leave the class he was in and enter the class behind him when he recovered. His new graduation date is the day before Thanksgiving, so our frame for moving to NY is now the beginning to mid December. We will be looking for a place in Syracuse.

The base itself is nice as far as military bases go; it isn't too large, and it's well-maintained with lots of parks and walking paths. We live in a nice area that's convenient to all the places we need. There happens to be a whole lot of Nothing right around the base, though. I found this disheartening since Clint's branch (Engineer Corp) guanrantees we'll be back here in about three years for another course, but as with a lot of things I've found it's all about attitude and being willing to actually look for things to do and see and enjoy. St. Louis is a little under two hours east of us, and we spent a day at The Magic House a few weeks ago, a hands-on Children's Museum where the kids had fun dressing up in the castle exhibit, experimenting with water gadgets, treking through the wilderness like Lewis & Clarke, and shopping in the grocery store. We're panning a trip to the St. Louis Zoo in October.

Springfield is only an hour from us, and last Sunday we went to The Skinny Improv and saw their performance of Sleeping Beauty, interactive theater for kids. It was an amazing place and the kids were absolutely enthralled with it. They helped color some of the sets before the performance, and at a ticket price of $5 per person (less than a movie, and with free popcorn) I don't think you could possibly beat this for entertainment.

So there are things nearby, and we are taking advantage of them. Thankfully, my kids are awesome roadtrippers.
I'm really glad we decided to come down here while Clint completed this course. It's funny, but after more than three years living on opposite sides of the world from my husband, I nearly forgot what it was like to live with another adult. I won't lie and say it doesn't take some small adjustments in thinking and practice, but really, it's good for me to have to share my computer time and I guess I'l survive being asked to cook some meat for dinner once and awhile. Because overwhelmingly, it all feels pretty damn good.

~